January 31st, 2010 by Hoopleton

I can’t bring myself to remove the coffee cups or fix the covers on my bed. I sit on our couch and read my old journals thinking about the trips we’d take. I smell you in the cushions, I see your shadow thrown down against the floor. I dream about reversing time again, if only for an afternoon. I’m not doing well today. I can’t seem to breathe since I saw you last and the pain is getting more intense. I don’t know my worth. My place. And my imagination runs screaming. I’ve never had darker thoughts than this. For me. For you. For us. I won’t live without you. I know that now. My heart may beat but I won’t be the man you know. I’ll drift without purpose. Aimless. Undefined. Empty. Shattered beyond recognition. Weak. I’ve given you all my strength. To protect you. Help you. Set you free. Until you return I have nothing left.